


As Best We Can

by cassiopeiasara



Series: The SuperMartian Chronicles [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Loneliness, what it means to be a hero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 04:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9701600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/pseuds/cassiopeiasara
Summary: As the weight of Kara's isolation wears on her, she finds solace in someone she hadn't considered.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fictorium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium/gifts).



> A/N: I'm still upset over M'gann's departure and I wanted to explore what might happen if Kara was encouraging and training M'gann. This holds canon until 2x11, reads J'onn and M'gann as platonic and pretends those lines about "I'm a hero because you taught me" didn't happen. This story doesn't have a particular romantic bend but that is the direction of this collection. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I seek no profit.

>  We dig the slivers as best we can. When the hurt remains, you, dearest friend, will recognize my limp.

“Slivers” by Sarah Kay

Kara hears them soon after everyone is done being assessed for injuries. She does her best not to disturb them too much as they get closer to her. 

"You have a place here if you'd like." J'onn offers as they walk back in from the balcony. 

"I'll have to think about it," M'gann responds, there's a hesitancy in her eyes that Kara recognizes but can't name.

She doesn't stop to chat, with Alex gone and Winn busy, she supposes she'll just go home with some ice cream.

If she waited just a moment, she would have seen a curious glance directed her way.

***

Alex smiles as she sews Kara's sleeve. Kara doesn’t want to ask but she can’t help indulging her big sister.

“What did you get her?”

Alex ducks her head, a few months in and every milestone in her relationship is met with the same shyness. It’s endearing if not a little nausea inducing. 

“It’s a new gun holster.”

Kara smiles, it hurts, but she does her best to move through that. “Well, it’s, uh, thoughtful.”

Alex’s face falls. “You think it’s too practical?”

Kara hops down from the table and kisses her on the cheek, trying to distract her from the way her joy feels half hearted. “It’s perfect.” 

She almost gets through the door when Alex calls out to her. 

“Hey, J’onn had something he wanted to ask.”

Kara nods and heads toward the command center. There’s an exhaustion that doesn’t leave her these days, a desire to just spend all of her time on the couch with movies and an endless supply of ice cream. She knows though that if she gives in, she may never leave her apartment again. 

She finds J’onn easily and nods toward him as she walks up to stand next to him. “Did you need something?”

He unfolds his arms, placing them in his pockets instead. “I’ve offered M’gann a position here and she has yet to answer. I was wondering if--”

Kara nods. “If I could talk to her?”

He looks apologetic when he nods and she wonders if it’s an opening. A chance to tell someone how tired this makes her. Her attempt with Mon El is failing and she’s not completely sure if she can inspire anyone these days. 

He speaks softly in the way that let’s her know it’s more of a request than an order. “If you don’t mind.”

Kara could tell him. She knows that if someone could understand it would be J’onn but she also can’t fall apart here. She wonders if there is a place left in National Cty where she can.

She takes a deep breath and wills her mouth to spread into a smile that lost its sincerity weeks ago. “No problem.”

***

She finds her of all places in a community garden not far from the bar. M’gann is knee deep in a bed of night blooming jasmine with a large brim white hat and well worn garden gloves. Kara approaches as quietly as she can, already working up an apology for interrupting what looks like a peaceful moment.

“Hey, Kara.”

She startles, still a good distance away and tilts her head. “How did you know I was here?”

M’gann smiles, something Kara realizes she hasn’t seen her do very often. “Kryptonians aren’t the only ones with exceptional hearing.”

Kara adjusts her glasses, scanning the garden for anyone who might overhear the comment. 

M’gann stands, shaking her head and dusting off dirt from her gloves. “Don’t worry, I’m alone.” 

Kara nods. “Good.”

M’gann crosses her arms and tilts her head. “Was there something you needed?”

Kara clears her throat, prepared to give a speech but when she opens her mouth, she can’t seem to get it out. 

M’gann crosses her eyebrows and studies her for a moment. “Did J’onn ask you to come?”

Kara sighs. “Yes, he did but look, I would be happy to have you work with us too.” It sounds hollow even to her own ears. When did this become so hard? 

M’gann nods and points to a bag of soil. “Help?”

Kara grabs the bag and follows M’gann to a patch of crocuses. M’gann grabs a small shovel and starts to pat the dirt. Kara fidgets. 

M’gann nods to a patch on her left. “Those weeds could use some pulling.”

Kara moves to settle next to her. They work in silence for a while before M’gann speaks.

“When I first got here, my favorite thing to do was wander the planet. There was so much variety in the plant life, the animals. My home had become this,” M’gann pauses, setting her small shovel on the end of the flower bed, “place of such destruction and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Earth had an overwhelming abundance of the promise of creation that my planet lacked. The contrast was exactly what I needed. I’ve had several years to learn when something is primed to thrive and I’ve become an expert in noticing when something is struggling to just push through.”

Kara falters in pulling up the weed in front of her and sits back on her haunches. She bites her lip turning to M’gann. “I, um…”

M’gann’s eyes are kind as she shakes her head. “You don’t have to lie to me Kara. I don’t know you well but from what I’ve seen the people you care about come first, above all else,” she pauses while Kara nods then adds, “It’s an admirable quality but at what cost?”

Kara feels her eyes well up with tears and she does her best to hold them back as she asks, “Isn’t any cost worth it?”

M’gann shrugs. “I’m not sure. I’ve only just adjusted to letting myself care for anyone and I don’t have the best frame of reference.” 

There’s a loneliness in her eyes Kara recognizes all too well. 

“You could learn,” offers Kara.

M’gann sighs. “So could you.”

Kara crosses her eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not too good at letting other people in but I do know how to recognize when someone’s holding back and you, Kara Zor El have not been truthful.”

Kara sighs and feels some relief at M’gann’s words. There is no judgment in her tone and somehow having someone clearly reflect the truth back at her makes Kara feel less guilty and suddenly, less alone. 

 Kara nods. “Alex deserves to be happy.” She balls her fist and shakes her head. “As much as I can’t understand Winn and James’ motivations, they deserve to have a chance to follow their convictions.”

M’gann nods and pulls off her hat. The sun gives her skin an amazing glow and Kara can’t help but be a little captivated. “And you deserve?”

Kara shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Hmm,” M’gann hums and stands, crossing her arms and looking out toward the entrance of the garden. “I want to help people, I do and J’onn’s offer is a generous one. It’s more than I deserve but I don’t know if I’m up to the task.”

Kara moves to stand next to her. There are days, especially lately, when she feels like she’s not up to the task of what it means to be Supergirl. “Maybe it just matters if you give yourself the opportunity to try.”

M’gann considers her then nods. “Would it be too much to ask for your help?”

“My help isn’t any sort of guarantee,” she admits, all at once voicing the doubt that training Mon El has given her. 

M’gann shakes her head. “That’s not what I’m looking for. I can’t promise I’ll make a good hero, Kara, but I can promise I won’t ask everything from you in trying to get there.”

Kara feels that familiar relief again. “I think I can work with that.”


End file.
